Alex Fine’s venture into the world of sextech began with a master’s degree in clinical psychology from Columbia University. Her original goal was to become a sex therapist, but in 2014, she recognized a much broader opportunity. Fine believed she could make a bigger impact by shifting how sexual pleasure was perceived in mainstream culture and by transforming the products people use to explore it. That revelation became the launchpad for Dame Products, the progressive sexual wellness brand she co-founded with engineer Janet Lieberman-Lu.
When Fine entered the pleasure industry, sex toys were primarily considered novelties and largely disconnected from genuine discussions of health or intimacy. The market was male-dominated, with designs and branding that reflected male perspectives and overlooked the specific needs of vulva owners. Determined to challenge these outdated norms, Fine and Lieberman-Lu aimed to close the pleasure gap by creating pleasure products that focused on function and aesthetics.
Their first creation, the Eva vibrator, exemplified this new vision. A hands-free clitoral vibrator that could be worn during penetrative sex, Eva offered vulva owners targeted external stimulation without obstructing partner intimacy. Unlike many previous “couples toys,” it innovated with a design that nestled between the labia, staying in place throughout the sexual experience. Dame’s launch of Eva through Indiegogo smashed expectations, raising far more than its initial goal and making history as one of the platform’s most successful sex toy campaigns.
The momentum didn’t stop there. Recognizing the desire among consumers for a more active role in pleasuring partners, Fine and her team developed Fin, a finger-mounted vibrator. While crowdfunding Fin, they encountered resistance from Kickstarter, which initially deemed sex toys inappropriate for the platform.
Undeterred, Fine and Lieberman pushed back, ultimately persuading Kickstarter to host Fin’s campaign. Fully funded in just two days, it became another milestone for Dame, not just in terms of fundraising but in helping to normalize conversations about sexual wellness in mainstream culture.
Dame’s catalog has since expanded into a diverse collection of modern pleasure products, ranging from vibrators like Pom and Arc to thoughtful accessories such as the Pillo sex wedge and Thro waterproof sex blanket. Dame’s brand identity — clean, chic and approachable — has also made it a popular brand in big-box stores.
Fine’s ambition for Dame extends beyond creating sleek products. She sees Dame as a platform for reshaping how society understands and discusses sexual wellness. Under her leadership, Dame’s products have found shelf space in upscale retailers like Free People, Urban Outfitters, Goop and Sephora, among others. These partnerships reinforce Dame’s positioning as a brand that straddles the line between sexual health and lifestyle, appealing to consumers who want products that are both aesthetically pleasing and functional.
Mainstream media has embraced Dame as well. Fast Company recognized the brand as one of the most innovative wellness companies of 2020, and Dame has earned multiple XMA award trophies. The brand has been featured on programs like “The Today Show,” while Fine herself was honored on Forbes’ “30 Under 30” list in 2018.
Nor is Dame’s mission confined to commerce. The company is deeply committed to activism and social change, tackling systemic issues like censorship and gender inequality in advertising. In 2019, Dame filed a lawsuit against New York City’s Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) after the agency rejected Dame’s tasteful subway ad campaign, citing policies against advertising sexually oriented businesses. Meanwhile, the same transit system continued to run ads for erectile dysfunction treatments. Dame’s legal challenge spotlighted the double standards that persist around marketing products related to women’s sexual wellness.
This wasn’t Dame’s only foray into activism. Fine also collaborated with the sextech startup Unbound to protest gender bias in digital advertising policies. Together, they launched a website titled “Approved, Not Approved,” showcasing stark contrasts between the types of sexual health ads allowed for men versus those routinely rejected when aimed at women’s health or pleasure.
Fine’s journey as a CEO has not been without hurdles, particularly in the realm of manufacturing and global trade. Recent years have presented challenges like tariff hikes and supply chain disruptions. Since Lieberman-Lu’s departure from Dame in 2020, Fine has steered her team to respond strategically while staying true to the company’s activist roots. In April, Dame responded publicly to proposed tariff increases with a $5 “Trump Tariff Surcharge” on purchases made on its website.
Under Fine’s guidance, Dame Products has pushed boundaries, challenged outdated regulations, prioritized consumer empowerment and helped redefine the narrative around sexual wellness. The brand’s success is measured not just in sales figures but in the broader conversations it has sparked about pleasure, equality and wellness.
Looking ahead, Fine envisions Dame as a comprehensive resource for sexual wellness, blending innovative product design, advocacy and education. She remains focused on the mission that launched her career nearly a decade ago: dismantling stigma, elevating women’s voices in the industry and ensuring that pleasure is recognized as an essential part of overall well-being. She’s been broadening Dame’s reach with a growing “house of brands,” beginning with its two new sister brands: Emojibator and Chakrubs. With each brand offering its own unique flavor, Fine is confidently developing her company into a one-stop shop for fulfilling retailer inventory needs across various product categories.
From the initial spark of an idea during her psychology studies to leading one of the most respected brands in sexual wellness, Fine has proved that business and activism can go hand in hand. As Dame continues to grow, Fine’s work stands as both a business success story and a testament to the power of purpose-driven leadership.
XBIZ: How would you describe Dame’s evolution over the years?
Fine: It’s been a wild ride as a consumer goods brand over the past few years, especially in the sexual wellness industry, which has seen its ups and downs. We’ve experienced those too, but we’ve truly grown. We’re no longer just Dame. We now have two other brands: Chakrubs and Emojibator. We’re in Target and Walmart now. So more brands, more stores, increased brand equity and higher sales of vibrators each year. It feels fantastic. I feel really proud of what we’ve built.
XBIZ: How does Dame’s product lineup reflect that evolution?
Fine: One of my proudest achievements is that we continue to enhance our legacy products. I think that really speaks to the brand. Small, simple changes can improve the entire line. For example, switching to USB-C chargers and reinvesting in our bestsellers demonstrates our commitment to continual improvement. We produce amazing vibrators, which are definitely our bread and butter. But we’ve always loved innovating for sexual wellness in a holistic way. Like our Thro blanket, Pillo and Play Balm. What else can we create? There are many great products that are either not invented yet or haven’t been properly or resourcefully brought to market. Exciting new ideas are out there, and I look forward to continuing to innovate.
XBIZ: Was there a moment when you thought, “Okay, we’re not just a startup anymore”?
Fine: It’s strange that people still call us a startup all the time. We’re 11 years old! However, I recall feeling a sense of legitimacy even early on, as if this was something truly worthwhile, and that people genuinely appreciated what we were building and what we were saying. We’ve raised capital, which is a major validation, and becoming profitable has given us a sense of stability. Hitting 10 years also felt surreal. We’re here to stay. Plus, I’ve always had a deep respect for all the people who came before us in this field. I’ve learned so much from them. Now I know many of those people. That feels incredible.
XBIZ: Janet Lieberman-Lu was such a big part of Dame’s early days. What was it like for you and the team when she stepped back from the company, and how did that shift things?
Fine: Janet is still around, and we still reach out to her from time to time. She’s really supportive. She established some excellent systems that we still follow today. Being a solo founder is tough — you don’t have someone to go to and share everything with. But it’s also simpler because there’s one person’s vision.
Janet and I felt 95% aligned most of the time, but trying to get on the same page about that extra 5%, whatever it was, could take up a lot of time because we both care deeply. She might think it should be blue, and I think it should be purple. Looking back, I don’t think that was always the best use of time. There were moments when we spent too much time discussing things like a product’s name — that wasn’t the real driver of our income or brand sustainability. So at first, I was very nervous, but now I think we’re a bit more streamlined.
XBIZ: Is closing the orgasm gap still Dame’s mission?
Fine: I think a lot about the “pleasure gap,” which is a bit more nuanced. Like any other gender gap, I believe it’s holding everyone back. In heterosexual relationships, if people with vulvas experienced more pleasure, their partners would likely have more pleasure too. I don’t see it as just about one side, but it does focus on vulva experiences. Even when we designed Hug, our cock ring, we found users definitely use it for clitoral stimulation. While their partners might be interested in delayed ejaculation or restricting blood flow, the main goal is to ensure it provides good clitoral stimulation.
We make sure to consider the full experience. For example, with Fin, we thought, “If we’re going to design a toy for couples to use, both people have to buy into it.” The idea for Fin came from hearing many people, especially male partners using Eva, saying, “I like using Eva. It’s great. But I actually really want to be more active. I want to hold the product. I’ve got this insecurity over whether it’s me or Eva.” Fin makes them feel more like, “Yeah, it’s me too.” Sometimes people hate it when I say this, but we’re considering your partner’s feelings. There are definitely some people out there who are like, “Fuck the partner!” I get that. But I do believe that ultimately, you’ll get more if your partner is on board too.
XBIZ: Is there a particular product you feel best represents Dame’s values today?
Fine: Eva, to this day, always. Though I also love Pom — I think it’s just such a good product. I think Hug really demonstrates our innovation. I feel the same about Thro or Pillo, where these products existed but we made something a little easier to integrate into your daily life. It just looks like a regular pillow or blanket rather than looking like a sex blanket. So it wasn’t like we came up with a completely new concept, but we had a new perspective that made it innovative or more mainstream.
XBIZ: How do you decide which categories or pleasure needs to address next?
Fine: I used to mainly make decisions based on feedback from our direct-to-consumer customers, who I still believe are the most important people to listen to. However, I now talk to buyers a lot more as well. Retail plays a significant role in the overall experience. For example, retailers have been requesting a remote for years because they recognize its necessity. We need to finish it and get it out there. In some ways, retailers might even have a less biased perspective than customers who tend to give feedback.
Additionally, we now have Target and Walmart, whose opinions I really value because much of what we’re trying to do is help people see this category as not harmful. That’s the most important thing they do. Their suggestions probably reflect how many people are thinking. I find it a bit silly because I’m not afraid of pleasure, but I understand their perspective and I believe many others see it the same way. They’re definitely thinking about their customer, which is kind of like considering a little bit of everyone’s point of view.
XBIZ: How has Dame’s relationship with adult retailers evolved through the years?
Fine: Retail has become a much larger part of our business. Ecommerce has its ups and downs. Something changes in the algorithm, and suddenly you’re not getting as much traffic as before. Brick-and-mortar retail is a bit more stable for us, and diversification is really beneficial. If your products stand out in retail, they are truly good products. Plus, competing online is tough. Some online sellers set their prices very high and then constantly offer 50-80% discounts. You can’t do that when working with many partners; you need to be more cautious because you’re basically screwing over your partners if you’re always offering 50% off. I want our partners to feel like partners.
XBIZ: How do you balance your adult retail and mainstream presence?
Fine: With mainstream mass stores, I’m trying to get to people who would never go into a sex toy store. I want them to try something new, so that they will then go into the sex toy store and buy a superior product. At that mass price point, I can make a solid product, but I can make an exceptional product for the adult stores. I feel really confident now that I’ve done some of these other mainstream stores, like Sephora.
It’s not great that sex is so compartmentalized in our lives. It’s really powerful to see dental care and sexual wellness care next to each other, both equal and important. One time, I was in Walmart and looking at our vibrators, and when I turned around, right behind them were all the laxatives, which I thought was funny. It’s all kind of taboo and an intimate product. You don’t tell everybody about it. However, I don’t think anything’s ever going to replace the adult store. There’s nothing like going into a store with really great staff who can talk to someone about something intimate, which you might have never done before. No one’s going to approach the Target employees or Walmart staff.
Anything we sell in mainstream, we also make available to the adult retail channel, but we don’t necessarily list it online for ourselves. We’re considering how to tell that story on our packaging. How do people in the mainstream know that what they’re picking up is a one-button product? It doesn’t have many features and lacks the same silicone squishiness. It’s like a “You’ll never need to replace it” kind of deal versus a beginner vibe. We think that’s really important because it’s hard for a single brand to maintain that price point range.
We’ve considered splitting our offering, which I could see us doing someday, and having some products that are exclusive to those stores. But right now, if I’m going to develop a product, I really want it to work in both those locations, and that’s hard to do. It is hard to sell anything over $35 in Target or Walmart. With a product like Min, which is expensive for mass production, we’re not going to price them that low because they’re too good. I’m viewing it as an advertisement, aiming for people to just become more familiar with the brand and then seek a deeper education somewhere else.
XBIZ: What motivated the acquisitions of Chakrubs and Emojibator, and how do they fit into Dame’s larger vision?
Fine: If you look at any of the major players in our space, they have more than one brand. I think there are many good reasons for that. You become an even easier place for your retailers to go if you’re representing a few of the brands they prefer to stock. We’re still a relatively small brand compared to the big, established legacy brands. But they do it, so why shouldn’t we?
Emojibator is such a silly, playful offering. Even though we want Dame and sexual wellness to be taken seriously, we’re still always cracking jokes because being funny is very effective in marketing. So there’s a lot of freedom there — and the line is great. The ideas we have for that line are epic.
Chakrubs is more serious and elevated. We didn’t make anything like that product. I wouldn’t even have known how until we started working together. And I truly value originals. Chakrubs was the first to make crystal dildos. Others have come along and copied them, but I don’t think they’ve done it as well. Chakrubs is based in Detroit and we’re still shipping out of there, although we will eventually consolidate our warehouses.
XBIZ: What lessons have you learned “the hard way” as a CEO in this space?
Fine: I was thinking about some early mistakes. Inventory forecasting is very important. We’ve experienced overstocking and understocking, and both are terrible. It’s challenging, and it really matters a lot. It requires keeping an eye on it because the way we’ve become overstocked is by assuming that our current growth trend will continue in six months and relying too much on what we assume the future might hold. We’ve definitely ordered, assuming this account will boost us or something, but then it doesn’t.
This year has been absolutely insane. These tariffs are expenses we have to pay immediately, so I can’t pay the tariff after selling the next batch — I actually have to pay for it beforehand. I’ve had to be aggressive because this situation could hurt small brands more than larger companies. But just because a company is big doesn’t mean its cash flow is easy. It’s so frustrating to grow profitably and see how that can actually hurt your cash flow. That’s another lesson we learned early on: If you grow too fast and don’t have inventory financing, cash flow gets tougher.
XBIZ: How has your leadership style evolved as the brand has grown?
Fine: I think my leadership style probably still needs some improvement. I really believe that clarity is kindness, and being direct can still be difficult for me. It’s funny — I am so direct with outside partners. I know partners always appreciate that. They want this just as much as my experience indicates. However, providing feedback to your team members can be challenging. Finding an honest way to express “I’m upset right now,” along with why you think you’re upset or what’s coming up for you, is better than just pretending you’re not upset. It’s also much better than being upset, angry and emotional.
I’ve had a lot of fear about being the kind of boss who yells. But I’ve really come to realize how important anger and frustration are. It doesn’t mean you need to yell, but that emotion is telling me something. It doesn’t feel good, and I don’t want to make my employees feel shitty, so I’m not going to do that.
XBIZ: How do you navigate staying mission-driven while also scaling a business?
Fine: Some of the stuff we have to deal with, like ad regulation, fuels the mission. Now that Dame is more sustainable and we don’t need investor dollars, that definitely makes it easier to stay true to our mission and values. However, I have seen other brands that stay so true to their mission and values that they end up not having a brand.
For example, if you want to release a perfect product every time, you’ll end up spending too much money or have to delay something by a few weeks. I’ve never released a product without wanting to add or modify something. “What if we tried this? What if we tried that?” But if we just try everything, we’ll never get the product out. So you have to be willing to let something be imperfect, because nothing is perfect.
We also have tension in our values. We aim to change the pleasure gap. I don’t want to do this just for rich people — I want everyone to benefit. I aim to create products that are both affordable and innovative, while also developing more complex and challenging-to-produce products. So what’s more important, and where, and how does that show up? However, I also think that the brand really lives in those tensions. That tension kind of pushes us to do cooler things.
XBIZ: What kind of ripple effects have you seen from your MTA lawsuit and advocacy efforts around censorship on social media?
Fine: The MTA suit definitely sparked a really good conversation, about the idea that if you ban sex toy ads, you should also ban male sexual aid products, to try and speak evenly across the genders instead of seeing some things as valid and others not. But it doesn’t seem clear whether the MTA actually changed its policy. I have no idea what they will or won’t allow.
And overall, this year was two steps backward. We had great conversations and traction, but Facebook still thinks that erectile dysfunction medication is more important than a vibrator in a relationship. Mark Zuckerberg essentially said, “We’re going to be more like X.” I was excited because I can advertise on X — there’s less censorship. But that’s not what happened on Instagram. On Instagram, ads for vibrators aren’t allowed. There isn’t any less censorship for supporting women’s or queer sexual desires. If you asked me 10 years ago, I would have thought that by now we would have better advertising policies that truly protect consumers without denying them access to care.
XBIZ: If censorship and budget were not an issue, which mainstream platform would you choose to launch your dream ad campaign?
Fine: I think it would still be an omnichannel approach. Facebook and Meta are really great for discovery, but they excel at retargeting. They’re less about where I would get the best content production network and more about where I can get the clearest evidence of conversion. I would want to launch a big TV ad campaign featuring celebrities, including billboards and a social media component. Oh, and I would want to have my own plotline on “Euphoria.”
XBIZ: How do you balance commercial growth with staying true to Dame’s activist roots?
Fine: For the most part, I feel our activist roots have allowed us to grow. It’s kind of our secret sauce. Many larger brands, or those owned by private equity, struggle to advocate in the category effectively. We can, and we’re not afraid to, which has garnered us a lot of press attention. It also feels great because it shows that we do more than just sell a product — advocacy does change the lives of women and their partners.
XBIZ: Does Dame receive any negative feedback for its activism?
Fine: Just a little bit. Sometimes we get messages like, “We don’t want you to be political.” For example, with tariffs, we definitely received some negative feedback. If you’re going to advocate, you’ll have people who disagree with you. If anything, that shows we’re pushing something forward and engaging in the conversation.
But it’s also frustrating because sometimes we’re simply misunderstood. For example, with tariffs, everyone says, “Oh, these are liberals. They are feminist sex toy people, and they just hate Trump.” No, it has nothing to do with politics. It literally relates to my business being unable to stay profitable anymore. We’ve also faced challenges because we’ve taken actions to support women’s rights and reproductive health rights. It feels very connected to what we do, and that education is important, which can be challenging at times.
XBIZ: What would you say to other founders who are hesitant to mix business with activism?
Fine: No judgment, it makes sense. Some brands may choose not to be involved in advocacy work. The brands I truly admire in this category are those that have engaged in advocacy and made it feel like an integral part of their identity. People in this field have been advocating and dealing with policy forever — to me, that’s what makes this category truly special and fun. I believe it’s one of Dame’s strongest assets.
XBIZ: In such a charged political moment, what does it mean to you to lead a brand rooted in pleasure and empowerment?
Fine: It’s important to be authentic. If you’re selling vibrators, it generally comes down to believing that women are entitled to have and benefit from these products. If we’re not advocating for them, who will? What happens if we don’t? Look at Texas right now. They are literally trying to close doors or reduce our exposure online. Our business will suffer if we don’t do the education, and I think it’s a shame that it’s fallen on smaller challenger brands because some of the bigger brands can’t, for whatever reason.
XBIZ: How has parenthood shifted your perspective on leadership, business or even pleasure?
Fine: It definitely changed my concept of intimacy. The word “intimate” is often used as a euphemism for sex in our category, like in “intimate care.” However, the most intimate moments of my life now are with my kids. Whether it’s wiping their butts or putting them down at night, these experiences have really expanded my understanding of intimacy and love. Being a parent and having that perspective also helps me make more objective decisions because it reminds me that Dame isn’t everything and that it’s okay to have some distance. I believe it’s crucial for Dame and other brands in this category to rethink parental leave and related policies.
I think I wrote a post, when I first became a mom, where I discussed why motherhood makes you a better leader. Now I realize that, sure, you get better at prioritizing. You probably improve at giving nonjudgmental feedback. There’s a lot of good in that, but at the end of the day, you just don’t have as much time. I’m considering having a third kid, but it’s unrealistic to think I can have a third child and still keep up the exact same pace throughout the whole process. There’s a lot of narrative about doing it all and how you can manage, and in some ways, you can. But time and energy are limited. That’s just the reality.
XBIZ: How do you personally recharge when you’re not building a business or battling censorship?
Fine: I have the best group of friends in the entire world. My community, we come together, throw each other little dance parties and have Shabbat dinners. I also meditate, and I love many kinds of plant medicines, which I find very helpful. I’ll attend weekend plant medicine retreats if I can make it happen. For me, it’s a way to reconnect with spirits.
XBIZ: What does success look like for Dame in its next phase of growth?
Fine: Existing! For a long time, I felt that Dame wasn’t successful because we hadn’t reached $50 million in revenue, which I thought we would achieve within our first five years. But Dame has indeed been successful. We’ve made tremendous progress. I believe we have strong brand equity.
I would love to see us gain more presence in adult stores. I want to be a really great partner and see more growth in adult stores. I also hope for continued positive year-over-year profitable growth. Of course, if I could just triple that, it would be incredible. Buying more brands is fantastic; I love being a house of brands because I think it makes us a better partner. We’ve grown so much from being a startup to a real pillar in the adult space. It’s amazing to see young women entering the category now, inspired by us — that’s next level. I know I still have a lot more to contribute to this category as a whole.
